tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
