Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
