I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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