we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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