$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
