I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
someone threw a dead crab at me
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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