so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
