my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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