Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
