You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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