I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
