i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
