My nipple is on Facebook.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
