She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm always down for nudity.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
