he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
