Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
