i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
