it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
