ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
