guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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