You're completely useless in the revolution.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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