I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
