im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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