I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
