The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
