wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
