I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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