god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
