Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
