my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
