He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
