i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
