maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
