don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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