Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
