she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
