yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
