"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
