she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
