Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
