i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
