I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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