Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
