What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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