remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
