I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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