Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
