I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
there's paper in my vomit.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
