You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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