Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
