Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Found the puke drawer
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
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