She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
