it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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