Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
