if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have demons in me.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
