funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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