Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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